One summer in New Brunswick I was an official at a bass tournament. One of the rules was you
couldn't go ashore for any reason unless you first asked one of the officials putt-putting around the lake. These two guys asked Greg and I if they could go ashore to have a pee. We said sure, and away they went, we circled around that area for a long time, making sure they didn't bring back any hidden fish, etc. After a very long time I got Greg to put me ashore to check on them, I gave a few shouts and no answer, about a hundreds yards in the woods I came upon one guy humping the other up the rearend over a log. I said "What's going on here?" The humper answered me, as the humpee remained hanging over the log. " It was awful," he said, while my partner was pissing he fell over with a heart attack, so I had to give him artificial respiration." "That's not how you give artificial respiration ." I said," You give it mouth to mouth!" " I know that!", he said, " How the hell do you think this got started?"

CC#4 Paul Crawford







Speaking of fishing and peeing, the Ontario Red Cross Water Safety people published some statistics saying , on average, a half dozen fishermen fall out of the boat and drown in Ontario every year in the first two weeks of the season. The article went on to say, when their bodies were found, inevitably, they had no life jacket on and their fly was down. I would venture to guess this would never happen in the Maritimes, I don't know any Maritimer that would stand up in a boat and masturbate, without a lifejacket!

CC#5 Paul Crawford takes full responsibility for originating this joke.