These two ducks rent a room in a hotel for sex, she says she is not having sex without a condom, he goes down to the front desk and asks if they have any condoms, the clerk says "Sure we have, here you go, would you like me to put it on your bill?" The duck says, " No, what do think, I'm some kind of pervert!"

A woman goes into Cdn Tire to purchase her husband a gift for his birthday. When she gets to the checkout the man says, I'm blind, but just drop your item on the counter. She dropped it, and he says , "Ah, a Shakespeare seven foot rod and a Zebco Deluxe reel. That will be $49.95 , including tax, how are you paying?" " Just a second" , she says. Just then one of her credit cards falls to the floor, and the clerk says", that sounds like a Mastercard , will you be using that to pay?" She is amazed, she says yes and bends over to pick up the card, as she does she lets a fart. The man puts her card through and says, sign here, that will be $61.44! " "But, you said it was $49.95 ", she said! " Yes", he answered, "That was the rod & reel, but the duck call is $6.99 and the fish bait is $3.50!

Bill got a ticket to show up in court because one of his beagles was loose around town. Bill told his father he (had) to go to court with him. The magistrate read the charge stating that the dog was seen on February 16th roaming around town, and asked Bill how he pleaded? "Not guilty, your honour." How can you plead not guilty, the constable has witnesses that will say it was your dog! "Sir," Bill said, " My father is here to tell you that I gave that dog to him , in January month!"

This guy decided he would save a few bucks by cutting a Christmas tree on someone's lot, he had just found the tree he wanted when he heard a truck pull up. He looked down to see the guy watching him, he hid the chainsaw and came out to his car, pretending to pull up his fly, pretending he was just releiving himself, waving to the guy in the truck. An hour later he snuck back when the coast was clear again. You guessed it, no chainsaw!

A retired game warden here in Nova Scotia told me a few great true tales.

One time they had set up the decoy deer down off a highway and he and his buddy hid down over the other side of the highway. Picture this: Along came a car, they spotted the deer and stopped, he told his wife to sit still, don't put the window down and be quiet. He went to the back of the car ,opened the trunk, got out his rifle and loaded it, meanwhile the warden came up out of the other ditch, warned the wife by putting his finger in front of his lips to be quiet, snuck up alongside the car, and just as the poacher , hidden behind the open trunk, pulled the trigger, the warden tapped him on the shoulder, gently taking the rifle and telling him he was under arrest.

They also have a decoy partridge, These two young fellows stopped for it one day, they got out and shot, when they realized it was the decoy, they commenced to beat it with a hockey stick from their trunk. When the wardens drove up, they charged them with hunting out of season, and willfully destroying government property.

These friends that own a hunting camp say Brent always hunts in never, never land, he usually gets a heavy buck and they say he should never have gone that far hunting , and he should never have shot a deer while there. Never, never land!

This woman just finished having sex with her neighbour when the phone rings. She answers,
" Yeh, sure, I'm Okay, glad to hear it, the kids are fine, don't worry about me!"
The man says, who was that? She says, " It was just my husband, he was telling me what a great time he was having ,fishing, with you!